Easter is almost here. It hasn't been until the last 6 or 7 years that I have started to celebrate the holy week that precedes it. Remembering what happened on those days leading to Jesus's death is part of truly preparing our hearts for Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Having little kids means that my celebration of holy week involves lots of age appropriate crafts that I hope make things more real for my children. This year did not pan out the way I had planned. I'll just be honest and say that I was in a horrible mood for the first half of the week. I could not seem to shake a case of the crankies. And I really tried. Really. In the midst of yelling at the kids and feeling like I was spinning out of control, I would think to myself, "something is wrong here. This should be a week of reflection and excitement should be building for what's coming- Easter." But I could not force myself to do any of the things that I normally enjoy doing. I felt like a failure all week. I failed as a parent, as a wife, as a person. My tendency is to beat myself up and dwell in my failure but God showed me something in the midst of all the failure. "This is why I came," Jesus whispered to me. He died for the sin that has been heavy on my heart all week. It's gone! I don't have to dwell there! I ask for forgiveness from my Lord and IT IS FORGIVEN! And I ask for forgiveness from my family and they forgive as well. And grace abounds in this house. And I fall on my knees in awe and worship of my God and this love that does not make sense. The truth of "while we were yet sinners," and "when we were dead in our transgressions," pierces my heart. I am loved because He is God and God is love and so the cross. It had to be. That's it. That's all. On this Good Friday, there is reflection. Reflection on the cross on a hill over 2000 years ago and the torture and killing of deity that took place on that day. We bow low and tears are shed for what Christ endured for us. And there is reflection on the reasons why- because of God's insane, crazy, make-no-sense, wonderful, makes-you-want-to-dance kind of love. And we know that Friday is not the end so we prepare our hearts to celebrate because Sunday is coming!!!!